


Seasons

by Readerinsertfanfiction



Category: Bleach
Genre: Gen, Heartbreak, Multi, Painful Love, Symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:41:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22907185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readerinsertfanfiction/pseuds/Readerinsertfanfiction
Summary: Like the changing of the seasons so did your love, or so you believed. One thing is for sure, it hurt.
Relationships: Aizen Sousuke/You, Kuchiki Byakuya/You, Urahara Kisuke/You
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	1. Spring - Byakuya Kuchiki

In the rain of the falling cherry blossoms you had made a vow, a promise of forever between two youths who didn’t yet understand the gravity of eternity. 

“Together forever.” 

You repeated after each other, confident that nothing was to pull you apart. Nothing that could break your friendship, the friendship that had been carefully cultivated from way before either of you had entered this world. 

Growing up together with Byakuya Kuchiki meant a lot. It meant customs, it was suffocated with tradition and etiquette, it was filled to the brim with a duty, a responsibility, a constant performance. Everything that you didn’t mind having to study up on if you could make the journey together with your best friend. Someone who you could confide in, complain with, and someone you could occasionally anger with a joke or two.

Those days of your youth had seemed so endless. Growing up together, bickering, making up, competing, helping each other, and ultimately befriend and fall in love. With the promise of ‘forever’ etched in your mind it was easy to forget what the intentions had been back in the days, it was even easier to misunderstand the relationship as a whole. Expectations were set, assumptions were made, it was easy to get lost in your own feelings after all the time spent together. Even easier to think yourself already a step ahead of the rest. 

“Popular as ever, I see,” you were sarcastic as you said that letting yourself fall down next to the Kuchiki heir. “Barely a week into the academy and already two confessions scheduled each break,” you mused, plucking the piece of paper away from him. “Certainly impressive.”

Anything but amused the lad rubbed the back of his neck, already feeling tense at how much time his supposed popularity ate away from whatever rest he could take. Not to mention, any extra training that he could pinch in, not that he believed to need it. He just liked that extra edge. 

“Whatever,” came his irritated response as he waved your teasings off. “Can you deal with them for me? I don’t have time for this,” Byakuya spoke bluntly, dismissing the matter as he earned a scoff from you. 

“And I’m not busy?” you exclaimed, ready to argue the heir down. You loved to rile him up, challenge him as he tried to lord over you. A feat in which he never succeeded as you were firm in being equals to the male, after all you had made that vow all those years ago, right?

Sputtering Byakuya turned his eyes away from you, suddenly embarrassed as he avoided your eyes. “Yes, less so than I’m,” he claimed, not elaborating further. 

It was enough for you to catch on, however. Frowning you wanted to inquire further, but knew not to push Byakuya too much if he didn’t want to share it. He usually came around it, he always did and you guys never held any secrets for one another. 

It would have been easier to bear if you had put in the effort to ask him. 

“Byakuya is rejecting you, you may pass on the message to the one following next,” you casually informed the girl that had scheduled herself first in line. It always made your eyes roll at the way these girls threw themselves at your friend, unashamed, unabashed, it was envious, but mostly embarrassing. “Spare yourself and the rest the pain and just give up,” you continued with a huff before turning around on your heels to leave, not bothering to listen to the answer of the girl. 

Or at least, you hadn’t planned to. 

“Everyone knows he is meeting a commoner outside,” the girl informed you calmly, forcing you to halt yourself. Turning around you stared at the female incredulously not believing your ears. 

“Nonsense,” you spat, feeling your cheeks flare up at the thought of your best friend going behind your back. “Byakuya would never involve himself with a commoner,” you continued, though you weren’t sure who you were trying to convince more. 

Smirking the girl gave you a sneer before crossing her arms, pity settling in her eyes. “High and mighty [Name], surely you weren’t expecting Byakuya to look at you, right?” 

The remark hurt, as you knew that he had exclaimed to previous confessor before that you were more like a sibling than anything. A sibling. If the Kuchiki heir had any idea how to rip out your heart he certainly was finding the most effective way to do so. 

“You can see it for yourself, he left the school grounds just now to meet her,” the girl informed you, this time departing from the location on her own terms. 

Growing up with Byakuya Kuchiki meant tradition, honouring culture, and maintaining the pride of the family. It meant fulfilling obligation, following the rites. It was duty over pleasure and heart. It required sacrifice in tongue and in heart, it was silently carrying the burdens and the responsibility of a legacy. 

Byakuya had thrown that all away. For Hisana he had disregarded everything the two of you had grown up with. The commoner lady he had fallen for, the commoner he insisted on marrying despite all opposition, even nearly willingly giving up his seat as the heir. 

And though you couldn’t agree with his actions you felt obligated to support your friend. The vow you had made, once long ago still firmly engraved within your mind. Your first love withered away just like that. Never mentioned, never remembered. 


	2. Summer - Kisuke Urahara

Your second love hit you like a fresh drink on a hot summer day. Like a breeze Kisuke Urahara entered your life, introducing himself as part of the Detention Unit of the second Division. However, unlike the fresh breath of air that he had represented earlier his love was warm, passionate even, like the summer heat. **  
**

Wrapping Urahara in a surprise hug you let go of a wide grin into his shoulder, fingers playing with his bangs. “I heard the news, congratulations Kisuke,” you whispered in his ear, earning a shiver from the somewhat reserved man. 

Gasping the blond blinked at your sudden appearance before letting go of a deep sigh. “I haven’t taken the test yet, who knows what the result will be,” he casually shrugged, uncertainty written all over his face as he pondered whether he was the right choice. “Besides, [Name] you really shouldn’t sneak up on me like that,” he cautioned you, earning another giggle from you. 

“I wouldn’t mind getting pinned down by you,” you winked, earning a blush from the freshly recommended captain.

This went for both sides, however. Pulling you over his shoulder the male then quickly had you sprawled out underneath him, arms pinned above your head and hips locked underneath his. This time it was your turn to blush profusely, the position leaving very little to imagine what was about to follow. 

“You sure?” Urahara cocks a brow at you a teasing smirk spreading over his face. It was a side of his that you didn’t get to see often, or at all in public where the man was considerably less confident in appearance and attitude. 

“You will do fine, Yoruichi said so much as well. Besides, you have been inquiring, right?” 

Stilling himself Urahara released your arms, eyes crinkling into a smile as he lurched forward. 

“Have you been following me?” the man whispered in your ear to which you giggled, pulling the man closer placing a kiss at the base of his temple. 

“Maybe, who knows. Maybe I happened to be in town?” you pondered before letting go of another squeal as the man tickled you. 

Urahara and you bonded over your similarities. Both of you grew up within nobility, despite lacking a noble status yourself. Both of you discovered the chains that came with the role, the limits, but also the chances it provided. Most importantly, both of you thrived when left to your own devices. Urahara more so than you, being older as well and thus more experienced, but that didn’t take away the attraction you felt towards one another, the curiosity in a like minded soul. It gave you a sense of security, a feeling of belonging, a warm homeliness that you had missed as you shared your daily life with the blond. Training, planning, researching, you were independent yet together. It was no surprise at all that Yoruichi promoted you to the third seat, the seat Urahara had filled before becoming the captain. 

“You sure you don’t want a seat with me?” Urahara snuggled in closer, his breath dancing over your skin as you wrapped your arms tighter around him, a scoff escaping you. 

“And miss the opportunity to do better than you?” you teased, blowing a puff of air into his face. Tracing your fingers over his lower back you shook your head. “No, I’m set. The Second Division will help me get closer to Central 46, which is my aim,” you waved off his offer, earning a smile from the blond who leant in for another kiss. 

“So set in your path, how envious,” he spoke before leaving to get ready for his inauguration as the captain of the Twelfth Division. 

How endless the days together had seemed. Loving one another, caring, devoting, it had all been there in those little moments. 

“What do you know?” 

The question was cold, unfriendly even as you were bound in front of the courts. 

“What should I know?” you bit back, confused, betrayed, hurt. Soon after Urahara’s installation as a captain soul reapers had started to disappear in rapid numbers, ending in a revelation bigger than anyone could foresee. 

“Did you know Urahara was performing these live experiments?” 

You clenched your eyes shut, breathing in deeply as you felt the pain dull in your heart. He had left you, left you all abandoned in Soul Society, left you to deal with the aftermath of his escape, the consequences of his sins. 

“No, I wish I could say he isn’t that sort of man, but he abandoned me here as well,” you spoke, voice void of any emotion as you lunged forwards, hiding your tears that were falling to the ground. 

This love hadn’t been worth the pain either.


	3. Autumn - Sosuke Aizen

“Care for some company?” 

A gentle voice raised you from your thoughts. Startled you turned your eyes over to a bespectacled face, meeting warm brown eyes that were smiling down upon you. 

“Ai— Captain Aizen!” you sputtered, deftly correcting yourself as you remembered the recent personnel changes. 

“Aizen is fine, [Name]. I hate for us to be strangers because of my promotion,” the man spoke easily, taking away any discomfort that might have existed between you. 

For days you had been gazing out over the veranda of your barracks, mindlessly gnawing at yourself and sitting out the probation. The ongoing investigations required you to be non-active and removed from your position lest they feared you would muddle with evidence. It was a loathsome time with even more avoiding you, Byakuya’s avoidance being the most prominent of all. With his wife ill he simply couldn’t afford to get embroiled in your mess. 

“What brings you here, Aizen?” you relented, hating to start an issue over what to address the newly appointed captain as. The will to be proper and to uphold tradition had long since faded. 

Taking this as acceptance the male sat himself down next to you, the warmth of his body radiating towards you, his energy calming, making it easier to breathe. 

“I thought you could use some company,” came his simple response. You felt your heart jump at that, gulping as you told yourself not to think anything of it. Aizen was kind to everyone. Kindness incarnate. There was no other reason for him to seek you out other than from the goodness of his heart.

Or so you told yourself. 

“It hurts,” you responded, eyes set out over the plain fields that stretched out in front of you. The barracks of the Second Division weren’t much of a sight, designed to be practical, not for their beauty. With everyone out on duty and avoiding you there was no one to spar with you, or even keep you company. Though, that wasn’t what hurt the most. 

“First I was left aside,” you spoke, a bitter smile on your lips as you thought of your youth. It shocked you that you were so willing to tell Aizen all this, but the brunet made no sign of minding the trust. Instead, he encouraged you to continue, hands folded together in his lap as he listened. 

“Then,” you continued, looking for the right words without being brusque. The man deserved at least the best version of yourself. “I got abandoned,” you struggled to admit that part, your throat swelling up at the thought that Urahara really had done that to you. 

“I feel betrayed,” you finally mustered out, a tear falling down from your eyes. It was still too raw, too fresh for it not to hurt. 

Feeling an arm wrapping itself around your shoulders you soon met the chest of the captain, eyes wide in surprise at the warm unusual gesture. 

“You can let it all out on me,” Aizen whispered, his fingers stroking through the back of your hair, as if trying to soothe you. “It will help you feel better,” the man continued as you let yourself go in his arms, clutching onto the white fabric of his uniform. 

The adoration that had bloomed between you afterwards was warm again. This time it was a different warmth. It was the slowly warming up after a cold rainshower. It was the warmth of a hearth, the warmth of a loving embrace. It was everything you needed to get up again, to raise your head again and pursue your dreams. 

“Sosuke?” you piped up, sliding the door open one late night to find the man still hard at work. “I knew it,” you accused him, a finger pointing into his direction. “Still at work and no breaks. How often do I have to tell you? Momo will fret again,” you continued to scold the man, though your voice was gentle. 

You had brought tea with you, knowing that there was no use in coaxing the man to leave early. Not when he was determined to find the culprit in the recent troubles Soul Society has been facing. You couldn’t blame him as you were much the same. 

The way Aizen smiled at you said so much as well. He knew you had been doing overtime as well, perhaps planning to spend some time working together with him in the office. It was a familiar tandem the two of you had gotten used to. 

“Come here, [Name],” he invited you, gesturing to a spot next to him. A spot you eagerly took, thighs touching as you set yourself close to him. 

“Not here,” the captain chuckled, arms pulling at you so that you fell into his lap instead. “Here, I want you close to me tonight,” he whispered, gentle eyes twinkling at your blushing face. “Please allow me to be so bold, tonight?” 

You were sold on his plea, nodding shyly at his sudden need for intimacy. It was unusual to say the least, at least so when he was on duty. 

“How is the investigation coming along?” you questioned, head leaning against his chest as you wrapped your arms around his waist. Content you let go of a happy sigh as Aizen and you relayed your day to each other. 

Nothing prepared you for his death. The sight of his lifeless body pinned to the wall, exposed for all to see, disgraced by his own sword. The screams of the distraught Momo, your own numbness. 

You could do nothing but stare. Stare, gape, gag, your voice refused to come out, your tears refused to flood, and your heart refused to acknowledge. When Kira and Momo fought your body refused to move, instead you let yourself fall down to your knees, eyes trained to the body of your beloved as once more your world shattered. 

With the wayward soul reaper running havoc in Soul Society along with his friends there was barely any time for you to mourn. Not with the ongoing investigations you had, not with the information Aizen had left you. Unlike Momo you didn’t act on a whim, planning and crafting your traps carefully as you shadowed and followed. Your training and background in the Second Division coming in handy. 

Most importantly, you started to question. Everything Aizen told you, every claim he made, you tested and proved them, trying to discern fact from subjectivity, trying to see what was mere assumption and false judgement. Never did it occur to you that it was all an elaborate lie, though it was an option. While the rest fought and tracked you went another route, soon finding the discrepancies in the story. 

By the time you figured out the whole truth another horror dawned upon you. 

“Sosuke,” you gasped, wide eyes staring in disbelief of what you saw. He was alive, but in the worst possible way. This time the tears did well up, this time your heart screamed and ached as you stomped your feet at him. “Traitor!” your voice sounded through, scalding over the fights happening below. “Filthy traitor!” you repeated, fists clenching together as you tried to think of something more hurtful to say. 

The smirk playing around Aizen’s features, the glasses he had discarded along with his bangs, everything screamed a different man from him. 

“That hurts, [Name].” Though the words were insincere. He was mocking you, reserving no other word for you as he went on to address the rest at the scene. The wayward humans, the captain-commander, everyone but you. 

Just like that he left as well and with that your last love ended.


	4. Winter

Your first love wasn’t meant to be. Young as you were you had made promises you couldn’t fulfill. Created vows that weren’t meant to be kept between the two of you. The result was a bitter pill and a lesson that the world wasn’t as perfect as you imagined it to be. That, just because you wished for something it would be yours to keep. That, not all choices were easy to make, but none of them bad per se. **  
**

The second time you found love was when the two of you were still figuring out yourselves and life. The conflicts surrounding you, the challenges forcing your hands. In the end you had changed as a person, grown and matured, but knew that you couldn’t return to the times you had back then. Though it had been warm, though it had been filled with passion, it wasn’t meant for either of you. It had been good for you, but it wasn’t meant to last.

Your last love had something dreary about it. You weren’t sure if the love you had given had even been returned. If it had ever been mutual at all. You had been used, targeted when you were at your weakest. Yet, that love had taught you the most, had you connect the dots. The happiness that you were looking for, the love, the passion. It could all be found so much closer and it took you three loves to find it. Three loves to come to the answer you had arrived at today.

Solitude didn’t suit you, you knew that. You needed to go out, meet people, find out your passions. You weren’t made to spend it locked away, deterred and depressed. To be alone didn’t have to mean loneliness. You just needed to thaw out your own needs and person that was buried under the piles of heartbreak. 


	5. Spring Again

Your first love wasn’t meant to be. Young as you were the promised you made had chained you down for so long, disabling you from pursuing what you truly wanted. However, despite the bitter taste your first love had left you with you still treasured it. You cherished the person you had loved back then, treasured the youth you had back then, and reminiscenced over the simpler times in which you had lived. In a time where you still believed that everything was possible, no matter the odds. It was a lesson you had to learn before you could truly bloom. 

“You seem to be doing well.”

The voice of the Kuchiki head pulled you back from your thoughts. Throwing the man an apologetic smile you nodded, quickly fixing your posture as you accepted the tea Byakuya had poured you. 

“Same to you,” you spoke, a smile gracing your lips as you tasted the white tea he had invited you for. “The winters are harsh, you really ought to close the screen,” you followed, eyes gliding over to the backyard. The lonely cherry blossom tree over which Hisana had always watched in full view, desolate and empty. 

You didn’t need his answer to know what was to follow. Byakuya didn’t need to speak for you to know why he kept the screen open, why he insisted on keeping the draft open. You had been friends for a long time, after all. Strangely, you found peace with that thought, another smile rising onto your lips as you realised that the hurting had left you a long while ago. 

“I hope that the tree will blossom again,” you sighed, though you knew you weren’t speaking of the tree alone. Your friend needed it as well. 

“When will you be back?” Byakuya finally asked, the question weighing heavily on his mind as he set down his cup, the sound of clay against wood sounding empty in his hands. 

Turning back you eyed the male, observing the tense expression he carried, as if he didn’t dare to be honest. Breathing in you folded your hands in your lap, shifting your weight to turn your attention fully towards your friend. 

“With spring,” you responded after a short silence. You honestly weren’t too sure, there was so much to do, so much to wrap up on. 

Humming in response Byakuya’s eyes fell back to the tree outside, nodding towards it. “You’re welcome to watch the cherry blossoms here.” His words were carefully chosen, deliberate as he pronounced each syllable clearly, dark eyes once more searching yours in hope. 

You recognised the hope. It had been yours once, but not anymore. Smiling once more you nodded, “perhaps,” was all you said, leaving the option between accepting and rejecting between the two of you as you got up from your spot, ending the meeting. 

You felt light, the air felt crispier and fresher than ever and it was as if there was a sudden brightness to the world that you hadn’t seen before. Your heart was singing a tune again, but the beat wasn’t meant for anyone this time.


	6. Summer Comes

“Yo, [Name].”

The familiar hat and clogs combination entered your view as soon as you stepped out of the door. Despite the unkempt appearance the warmth Urahara radiated was still the same, welcoming and unabashed. 

“How has business been?” you teasingly questioned, knowing that the man didn’t get any other customers than those traversing between the worlds. “Sold any overdue candy?” you continued to poke fun at the man. 

Scoffing a laugh Urahara crossed his arms at you, chin thrown up into the air as he leant back lazily. “As if, I value my customers. I wouldn’t dare,” came his sarcastic response to which you only responded with a wider grin. 

He had been different when the two of you met. Shyer, less confident, the man in front of you now was neither making you wonder what was true, or that circumstances had forced him to become what he was today. The latter thought made you pity him, knowing that he had given up a great deal in order to survive, leave behind everything he had known back in Soul Society where he had no chance of a fair prosecution.

“I made it into Central 46,” you informed the man. The way his shoulders tensed was enough to inform you that he still wasn’t quite over the mistreatment he had faced so long ago. 

Adjusting his hat Urahara averted his eyes from you. “Is that so?” he breathed, though the slightest smile could be detected playing around his lips. “I suppose times are changing, not?” he questioned and for a bit you thought you saw the man that you had loved so passionately and wildly. 

“I try, they handed me one of the judge positions,” you laughed, crossing your arms once more as you finally sat down next to the male. “Guess the first trial they put me on?” you scoffed as you stretched your arms, eyes meeting and locking into his green ones. He didn’t need to guess to know. 

“ _Aizen_.” 

You nodded solemnly, kicking your legs forward as you let go of another deep breath. “It is going to be a difficult one. He will probably argue against me about personal biases and a plan for revenge,” you continued with a shrug. “Not that it will change anything,” you grimaced, knowing the system and organisation any change would take a long while and you hadn’t been around for long enough to have any sort of impact. 

“You will do fine, I’m sure,” Urahara interrupted, shoulders brushing, taking your attention once more. Carefully he placed his hand over yours, once more smiling that gentle smile that you had loved so deeply years back. “I have the utmost faith in you,” he continued. 

It was all you needed to silence the questions mulling your mind. The time you had shared, though brief, had been real. The passion, the love, it had been mutual and it still lingered on somewhere. Whenever the cicadas chirped, whenever the sun scorched down, it was still there in memory. Though, you both knew that whatever had been had ended long ago, for the two of you had changed. Neither of you were the person they had been back then, so many years ago. 

“I will clear your name,” you promised as you threw one more look over your shoulder. Though Urahara had already been pardoned there were still a few accusations that remained, charges that made the man unable to return without being scorned by the rest. 

Smiling at that proclamation Urahara rose a brow, not responding with a quip. You both knew that he had no intention of ever returning, even if he could walk through the streets of Soul Society with his head held up high. 

“You still owe me a tea, Kisuke,” you instead said, reminding the man of yet another memory so long ago, when you both were different people.


	7. Autumn Fades

“Come to visit me, [Name]?”

His voice still brought a chill down your spine, though now it felt more like he was mocking you. 

“I have questions,” you blankly quipped back, earning a throaty chuckle from Aizen. “Related to your trial,” you quickly added, a blush forming on your cheeks as you wondered why you felt the need to defend yourself. 

“Sure, ask away,” Aizen’s smooth voice responded, unbothered as you could almost imagine that smirk on his face, appraising you from the dark. 

Clenching your fist you knew you had to grab a hold onto yourself if you wanted to be taken seriously. You couldn’t let this man take you over again, you had to let go of whatever there had been between the two of you. 

How weak you had been with him. How wrong he had been, knowing to pick you up in your weakest moment, knowing how to manipulate you. Yet, there was still a question gnawing. Despite all you knew. 

“What was your reason for getting close to me?” you finally let the question go. 

Silence. Then a sigh. Cold eyes checking you out, almost in annoyance that you didn’t get the answer yourself. 

“How much more obvious do I have to be?” he scoffed, that annoying smile rising a little higher. “Wasn’t it for your relationship with–”

“Not that,” you breathed, closing your eyes for a second before opening them again, a new determination in your expression as you felt that you could take control of this conversation. 

Aizen felt the same way, the look of surprise was the first genuine emotion you had seen on his face. It elicited a bitter smile from you as you realised that perhaps even more than with Urahara there was even less that was certain between whatever you two had. 

“It is clear that I could be a powerful pawn in your little game,” you spoke, your voice flat as you clasped your hands together. “Yet,” you nearly spat the words out as your voice grew lower, “you never used me.”

Silence again. Though this time the air was thick. You, who was anxious for what the answer might be. Aizen, because he hadn’t thought you would get this far. 

“Isn’t it only because you ended up useless?” the man finally responded. “Else I would have taken you with me,” he continued, eyes hiding from yours. 

It was a confirmation of everything, even if he refused to say it. 

Scoffing you crossed your arms, earning a look of surprise mingled with disgust from the former captain, though none was aimed at you. 

“Sure, Aizen,” you mocked the man in the same tone as he had greeted you. 

You had been weak when the man came to pick you up. After two failed loves you had hoped that he would give you what you needed, never realising that it was a trap, not realising that what you needed was much more nearer. 

“For the record,” you spoke again, letting your arms fall to your side once more, “I don’t hate you.”

Another look of surprise as the male couldn’t believe what you were saying. The strength you had lacked before, over which he had ridiculed you, and humiliated you. You had taken all that pain and thrown it back into his face, standing tall once more, but this time without the help of another. 

Smirking Aizen let go of another chuckle, realising how he had lost this match. How he had miscalculated everything. Misjudged you. 

“I don’t dislike you either, [Name],” he finally admitted.

You only responded with a smile. 


End file.
